And I Want That Twist Tie BACK!

I grew up all over the place as a child. my parents found Jesus in the 70's and soon after believed they were called to the "mission field" to spread the good news. turned out to be bad news for me. we left our new home in a quiet safe neighbourhood and sold everything we owned at bargain prices. i was pulled from my grade 2 class where i knew everybody and everybody knew me and we shipped out to hawaii. yes hawaii... not the best experience. i was beaten up every day at school for being white. a year later we moved back to Canada and up to the yukon (beside alaska) as god had now called us there. several years were spent in different towns and settlements, building churches and spreading the 'good news'.

now being a missionary kid isn't all its cracked up to be... who i am kidding? it was never cracked up to be anything! for us it meant waiting on the Lord to pay the rent, secondhand clothing and powdered milk. times were tough but i suppose we were happy. it was easy to hide poverty in the yukon. almost everyone had the same reliable type vehicles, parkas and snow boots. even better for my sister and i as we were home schooled for much of our stay up there. no public school clothing competitions to worry about for us.

of course our time "serving the lord" in the yukon came to an end after a few years. why? guess. the lord had called us to the sunny okanogan - Kelowna to be exact. we packed up the cabin and loaded it all into a U-haul type plywood box on two wheels that my dad had made, hooked it up to the back of the van and said goodbye to the wilderness of the north. a 2 week camping trip ensued till our scruffy caravan bumped into our new hometown.

right off the bat we stuck out like a sore thumb. kelowna was a beautiful city on a lake in the okanaogan - the 'california' of canada they call it... gag. everywhere you turned were wineries and orchards bursting with fruit. there were beaches everywhere, covered with soft sand and scantily clad teenagers. the water was alive with high power speed boats and the roads filled with convertible jeeps - all driven by over muscled drunk boneheads. a stark contrast to our tan coloured Ford van and massive plywood box in-tow, both COMPLETELY covered with 2 weeks of highway mud. WOW! i thought... i'm really going to fit in here! i would learnt to hate this town with a vengeance one day.

our drive finished in the richest part of town where we would be shacking up with another christian family till we 'got our feet on the ground'. it all seemed normal to me! nothing was strange or out of the ordinary when you've moved as much as i had. this was the 14th house id lived in by now. up until this point in my life id say i was pretty happy. i didn't know we were poor. i didn't know what 'name brand' clothing was. i didn't know what pre-packaged processed food was. i thought everyone lived like us i guess? i don't know, but i was about to get a wake up call.

"let's get the girls enrolled in school!" well theres nothing like entering grade 6 two months into the school year. you know, after everyone has and knows their 'place' in the classroom hierarchy? that left a very uncomfortable spot for me at the bottom of the ladder. my clothing didn't help. i was a tallish gangly girl with long legs that grew an inch a day it seemed. it was impossible to find a pair of pants that fit me lengthwise and in the waist, so my mum just opted for the waist. "we can't have your pants falling down!" that left me with highwaters. as for shirts and sweaters - i'd spend the next 6 years of my life searching in vain for a Benetton or Esprit ANYTHING at the '2nd Time Around' used clothing store.

but aside from the clothing there was something i felt that really made me stand out... lunch time. to be more precise - my lunch verses their lunch. now i had food, i never went without at school, but there was a very distinct difference between the lunches my classmates brought with them and mine. 1st on the list?

Wagonwheels - not only was i astounded that they had somehow put all those yummy things together into one round chocolaty serving, i was unnerved to see kids giving them away because they didn't want them! this just made NO sense.
My Equivalent: a completely browned oozing banana.
Frozen Juice Boxes - not only did they have a drink box, they had a frozen one... so they basically had a Freezy at lunch. the girls would seductively suck on their little boxes of ice juice for 45 minutes... i was so jealous.
My Equivalent: unfiltered apple juice in a tupperware container.
Ichi Ban Noodles - japanese soup noodles. you know, you lived on them in college? well they would bring these to school and eat the noodles dry... strange i know. i wouldn't even contemplate asking to have this in my lunch... i already knew the answer and 30 minute explanation of why asking was so ridiculous.
My Equivalent: egg salad sandwich, that upon pulling out everyone yells "WHO FARTED????!!!!??"
Fruit Roll Ups - basically candy... My Equivalent: homemade fruit leather and and no mum its NOT THE SAME.
Halloween Candy - kids had this stuff in their lunch like it was going out of style for like 3 MONTHS after halloween!! unfortunately celebrating Satan's birthday didn't make it into the christian holidays.
My Equivalent: NUTS
Paper Bags or Lunch Boxes - I've save the best for last... this is the one thing that has really stuck with me - the fact that i never had one. there was NO WAY my mum was going to go buy little paper bags that i would throw out every day. NO WAY. so what did i use to carry my lunch in? A BREAD BAG. thats right. a see-through bread bag. and maybe if it had been some kind of cool bread (like white wonder bread?) it wouldn't have been so bad, but it wasn't. it was the store made whole wheat loaf bag with a big bright orange 'DISCOUNT' sticker on it. my lunch was up for inspection upon entering the school yard. peanut butter banana sandwich (browned bananas and homemade chunky peanut butter look like a 'shit-sandwich' by lunch time) cut up apple also turns brown by lunch, mixed unsalted nuts floating freely on the bottom of the bag... that sort of stuff. and to top it all off the bread bag was held closed as most bread bags are - with a twist tie. and every day just before id leave for school i'd hear my mother yell... "dalyn? be sure to bring back that bag!! i MEAN IT this time! oh and dalyn?? DALYN?!" "WHAAAAAAT!!!?" "bring back that bag! And I Want That Twist Tie BACK!"
grade 6 through 11 lunch hour was mortifying to say the least. looking back i know such experineces have given me character and a sense of humor. i have a feeling i may end up doing the same thing to my kids one day... is that so bad? surely you all have some embarrassing lunch contents or memories to share?? do tell!