i like to take pictures of stuff and then turn them into fridge magnets. this post is about one of my more well known magnet collections. i MIGHT whip you up a fresh batch of 'yummy delights' if you are having a house warming AND i think you're cool enough.
let me explain what 'Yummy Delights' are... i lived in Taiwan for 3 years teaching english. i inhabited several dingy apartments, but one in particular inspired a photoshoot. it was above a chinese bakery. 'oh wow! living above a bakery would be awesome!' you're thinking. well its not in taiwan. pretty much everything in one tastes the same or isn't what you thought it was. there is nothing more annoying than believing you've bought a simple french bagette to have with pasta at the dinner party - and find out upon slicing it up its jam-crap full of disgusting RED BEAN CURD PASTE.
well aside from misleading loaves of bread there are the chinese versions of what we call a 'danish'... no custard, no blueberry, raspberry... no drizzled icing on top. no no, think a little more hmmmm, i guess savoury? take a look at these 1st pics taken in the store. (all future words in quotes insinuates that food mentioned is not real or tastes NOTHING like its suppose to)
top left - 'tuna' salad with 'ham' on sweet sugar roll.
top right - 'weiner' on sweet sugar bread drizzed with mayonaise.
middle - 'mini-weiner' with 'chives' on sweet sugar bread drizzed with mayonaise.
bottom left - 'chicken' and 'ham' salad on greasy sweet sugar pastry.
bottom right - 'weiner' with cucumber drizzled with sweet ketchup/mayonaise in sweet sugar bread.
anything that was suppose to taste like chicken or tuna only ever tasted like very very sweet mayonaise. they put the shit on everything over there. (along with chocolate sprinkles... seriously)
as for the 'weiners' - i really can't say what these babies where made of. i dont mean to grose anyone out too much but they reminded me of a male dog lookin' for some lovin'. they wer this unnatural hot-pink colour and had the chewing consistancy of a rubber ball. i won't even go into how they tasted.
the bread always had a chemical-like flavour and left a waxy scum on the roof of your mouth after eating.
also, there was 'pork floss'. it looks like fluffy brown hair/sugar, and thats pretty much what it is. dehydrated pork cooked in refined sugar. it was in/on EVERYTHING.
can you imagine how hard it was to not buy several of these a day? luckily enough the school where i taught served these delights for snack or as "lunch" when we went on field trips and saddly being a hypoglycemic - ive had my share of all of them.
well i broke down and bought 4 beautiful specimnes one day. i set them up and got some good shots. my vegitarian roommate came home and wreithed away in horror from my purchase. the following are a few of my faves taken that day. the magnets dont look like this exactly... today i added the names for fun. what fridge is complete without a set of these?
Friday, February 8, 2008
Yummy Delights?
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12 comments:
Wow. Those really are some magnets. I'd have a hard time having ground-up-and-reshaped body parts on my fridge, I supposed ... but a set of magnets featuring that bitchin' van? Magic. Great post.
Come on Day! Let's just order a pizza. Come on! I'm starving. It's Domino's, what could go wrong?
*(door buzzer, enter delivery guy)*
Um... can anyone here speak Mandarin? How do you say "we didn't order corn, peas, and sweet mayonnaise on our pizza?"
sleek: great idea. van magnets. why hadn't i thought of that already??
IF: uhhhh hello!? you are forgetting two VERY important pizza toppings... TUNA or SQUID (with corn, peas, and sweet mayonnaise).
you and IF sound like you had LOTS of fun times in Taiwan!lol
love your blog! youre great!
kbear: hi there! thanks for the read! yes lots of good time in taiwan... more to come so stay tuned!! *d
Aah, the waxy scum of hydrogenated vegetable oil! Delish. Think of it as a retainer, made of food. That'll probably give you cancer someday.
Your magnets remind me of the faded 'glamour shots' of items you'd see on the menus of sad fast food places at governmentally operated holiday resorts in South Africa in the '80s. Good work. I love the magnets, actually. Can I have some? Please?
Seriously, gross.
But so hideous it's actually cool again, no?
TEHO: cancer someday?? gaaaa! i can totaly see these on a menu. or better yet, as one of those backlit plastic menus that have been up so long they are bleached out with green tones!
i do believe you may be cool enough to own your set of these babies. i would require a photo of them ON your refidgerator. that is unless you are joking?
amber: no, seriously, seriously, gross.
Backlit menus above he counter, exactly!
And I'm not joking. I think they're great (we've got similar taste in kitsch, after all). I'd gladly send you photos of them on my fridge. And your Annie Lennox impression is too cool for words, really. You rock!
TEOH: your on... send me your mailing address!
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